Dear Friends,

Every year I go to Rancho la Puerta, a rustic spa, for a week to relax with my mom. This year it was sorely needed as I had just finished the Publicity and Marketing Megasale (which many of you participated in and are now having the pleasure of beginning or continuing your publicity campaign) where I worked 14 hour days for months.

Like a number of you, I live a fast paced lifestyle which feels like an endless Nascar race. Going to the ranch gives me time to put on the brakes and even garage the car. I sleep in the sun, mosey around the grounds, unwind on the swing set, lollygag in a hammock, and dream with the sky.

It's here that I set, or unset priorities and what matters most to me. Some things I decided:

• I want deeper connections to professionals that I partner with.
• I want to work on more in-depth projects that I get deeply involved with.
• I want to write more and sit at my computer less.

On the personal side:

• I want to do yoga more regularly.
• I want to read more. (I still have a dream of reading all the classics before I leave this earth).
• I want to get two stories I'm working on in the New Yorker.
• I want to finish the line of cards I've created.
• I want to think only kind thoughts toward myself and others. (The job of a lifetime, I know).
• I want to act kindly and compassionately toward myself and others. (See above).

You'll notice that the word "more" is repeated. To do more of one thing I'll need to do less of another—that's the trick of time, and I sure haven't figured that all out yet.

One of the things I loved most about the megasale is that I made connections to people that I respect and admire. And at the same time I achieved one of my goals which was to offer products and programs to people who might not have been able to afford them.

I believe that it's through my connections to people that magic happens. That's the one area where I have faith. The other area I have faith in is taking one small step at a time. My yoga teacher at the ranch asked, "Who is the best teacher?" His answer, "Practice and consistency. The most important thing about doing yoga is to show up." I like how Walter Elliott expressed it: "Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another."

This is true for everything, including your publicity. Showing up, practice and consistency. One of my favorite sayings is by Confucius, "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." Whatever you choose to do for your publicity do a little bit every day, or every week and do it with every single cell in your body.

Warmly,

Susan

P.S. Anais Nin says, "Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country."

Train the Media with Shamu

Amy Sutherland, author of "Kicked, Bitten and Scratched: Life and Lessons at the Premier School for Exotic Animal Trainers" did it with her husband. If it works with husbands, why not the media? Sutherland discovered Shamu while writing a book about a school for exotic animal trainers who worked with hyenas, cougars, and baboons to do tricks and tasks. (They were teaching the baboon to skateboard.) She had some issues with her husband. He'd toss his stinky bike clothes on the bedroom floor, he'd crowd her in the kitchen. Small annoyances that added up to less love. Shamu seemed to provide some answers and gave her hope that she could love more.

The first principle was to reward behavior that you want to continue and ignore behavior you don't. So she'd walk around the stinky clothes in silence. She thanked him when he tossed a soiled shirt in the hamper. He began to put those stinky clothes more and more regularly in their proper place.

The second part of the first principle is to reward good behavior. So when a journalist that you want to cultivate a relationship with writes something that pleases you (or at least is correct), then send along a compliment about the approved passage. This is what animal trainers call "approximations." You begin to reward small progress with the intention that the animal will learn a completely new behavior. For an article in Entrepreneur I was interviewed for, I chose a few points that I particularly liked and jetted an email to the journalist. Now we're in friendly correspondence and just a few days ago sent her an idea for a piece about one of my clients. She is going to pitch the idea to a number of national publications. Good Shamu.

The theory is if you continually praise each small act, the leap to bigger things happens more quickly. For animals, it means getting a seal to balance a ball for a few seconds, a minute, then several minutes. Sutherland lavished praise on her husband for even one pair of shorts that made it to that hamper.

The next principle is called "incompatible behavior." On a student field trip, Sutherland observed a professional trainer's techniques to halt African crested cranes from landing on his head or shoulders. He directed them instead to use a mat on the ground as a landing pad. The trainer taught the birds a new behavior that replaced the undesirable one.

To keep her husband from hovering over her in the kitchen, Sutherland put chips and salsa at the other end of the room so her hubby hung out there. When a client I was media coaching for the Early Show was worried the host would focus a business story on her husband's physical abuse of her, I showed her how to use this technique. We gave the host a juicier story that she couldn't resist so she would forget all about the abuse and only concern herself with the positive aspects of the story. We gave her a different landing pad. It worked.

At SeaWorld San Diego, Sutherland learned L.R.S. or least reinforcing syndrome. "When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work." Behaviors that are given either positive or negative reinforcement strengthens them. The theory is that zero reinforcement allows the behavior to fade on its own accord. When Sutherland's husband lost his keys and began his usual temper tantrum and mad-dash frantic searching, she did nothing. When he told her he found his keys she replied, "Great, see you later."

When a freelance reporter from the New York Times interviewed me extensively for an article and then attributed my quotes to another interviewee who had credentials more suited to his subject, I did nothing. Did I want to call and cuss him in many languages? Of course. I'm Italian. But instead, I let it go. Now I can contact him when I have an appropriate lead or another idea.

The animal trainers motto was, "It's never the animal's fault." If you can adopt this attitude when the media print something horribly out of context, misquote you, treat you like dirt, insult you, or in general make your life difficult, remember Shamu and it will help tame the animal in you, too.

Publicity Summit--Did You Miss This?

What is the Publicity Summit?

An event where you get to meet radio & TV producers, editors and literary agents personally. You choose the magazines and shows where you most want to be appear, then spend time with the people in charge of those decisions.

Here are some results:

An author who I interviewed for "How to Get Into O Magazine" met the executive articles editor of O, The Oprah Magazine at the Summit and landed on the cover with a full feature article inside. What did it do for his business? He increased his speaking fees, got more speaking engagements and has been featured regularly in many more national magazines.

One of my clients got a literary agent and another client got a deal with QVC--all through contacts at the Summit.

Another attendee -- Connie Bennet -- got a full-page article in the current (Feb 5th) issue of Woman's World and a story in Time magazine. Both as a result of attending the Summit.

There is nothing like meeting producers and editors face-to-face and handing them your press packet.

If you're thinking of signing up act now there are less than 28 spots left--limit 100. Find out more details here http://www.nationalpublicitysummit.com/?10114

Get in O Magazine and on Oprah Teleseminar (free)

You're invited to join me for a teleseminar for the http://www.coachingexpertsnetwork.com covering your most important questions. Although this is for Marcia Bench's coaching group she has allowed me to include you.

You will get all the information about how to join this one hour teleseminar on February 20 at 2pm EST once you ask your question.

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Agent Query has been recognized by Writer's Digest Magazine May 2006 Issue as one of the Best Websites for Writers, Second Year in a Row.

You can find new literary agents at established agencies who are actively seeking to build their client list. This is a great way to go for authors as it's quite difficult to get the attention of established literary agents who get hundreds of unsolicited manuscripts every month (mine gets over 700!).

Need Ideas for the Media?

Check out Indestructibles.com

This site has stuff that people are creating. Everything from free yachts to how to make torches breath fire. So if your brain runs dry get it flowing here. My favorite is the dachshund wheelchairs.

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Come Meet Me

Anywhere in the World
Christian Work at Home Moment
March 5, 2006
6:30pm CST on KCRO 660 AM
KCRO 660 AM, Omaha or listen
anytime at http://cwahm.com/wordpress/blog/

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Quote

"If you want to be full,
let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn,
let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything,
give everything up."

~ Lao Tzu