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Handle A Hostile Interviewer: Five Ways to Avoid Regret
Copyright © 2002 - 2010 by Susan Harrow. All rights reserved.
The hostile or skeptic is the type of interviewer most
people fear. But you really don't need to, once you
understand the game. Most curmudgeons just want to have a
good show or presentation filled with animated discussion.
Whatever the case, it is not really important. What is
important is to remember the reason you are there. Is it
your mission to enlighten your audience about a cause you
feel passionate about? Are you looking to make your product
the best of its kind? Do you want your team to continue to
be asked to work on the core issues of your company? Bring
yourself back to your mission over and over again. Here's
how to stay cool when the questions get hot.
1. The Agree.
Before you counter with your reply, disabuse the hostile
person of his notion by first acknowledging that many others
agree with him. He'll feel like he has support for his ideas
and you are just one small voice in a crowd of cheering
fans. Example, *Many people think as you do and that is why
I did so much research and have found therwise.* Explain
what you have found in anecdotal evidence, facts or
statistics.
2. The Compliment.
Compliment the hostile person. Sometimes he just wants to be
recognized. *Really! That is fascinating.* Then tell why you
disagree.
3. The Impersonal.
Take the discussion out of the personal to the objective by
stating facts. He won't feel like you are attacking him for
a second or two. *Statistics prove otherwise.*
4. The Re-frame.
When asked an embarrassing or inappropriate question re-frame the question by beginning with, *What I felt was....*
Then focus attention on a broader social issue or expand it
to encompass what many people might feel.
In her very first TV show ever, one of my clients told the
story of being raped by a prominent sports entertainment
lawyer. The insensitive host of the program asked her
bluntly: *Did you feel dirty, unlovable, ashamed?* Instead
of answering, *Yes,* she might have responded, *Many women
whether they've been raped or not, have been made to feel
that way about their bodies or sexuality at some point in
their lives. That is why I have chosen to speak out on this
sensitive issue now. To give a voice to all of us, even
those who have no voice.* Which was her whole reason for
doing publicity in the first place.
5. The Humorous.
Use humor. A light touch can be transcendent. Change the
level of energy dramatically by refusing to engage in
hostility in the first place. Humor is one of the best ways
to create an opening and change the tenor or direction of
the discussion.
Just the other day speaker and author Debbie Gisonni and I
were doing a media coaching session on the phone. She had
asked me to come up with some "zinger" questions so I threw
in the one that Howard Stern had asked one of my clients.
*What is your bra size?* She laughed and said, *My bra size
is hardly newsworthy.*
And then she quickly transitioned into saying, *When my Aunt
Yolanda got breast cancer she had a lot of trouble finding
the right kind of mammary glands to replace the ones that
had been removed. The ones she got filled with silicon were
never quite right. One tipped up, the other hung down. But
after surviving her surgery, breasts became so inconsequential to what was truly important in her life.*
Humor is particularly good when asked a question that is too
personal. You can change the nature of the question
gracefully by saying, *What I'd really like to say is....*
Or, *The question I'd really like to answer is....* Or, *In
my book I say....* Or, *I'd like to keep that part of my
life private, and I would like to share this....* Then offer
something else delicious and intimate.
The Key:
Return to the question, *What does my audience need to
know?* To keep on track in any situation including a tussle,
an inappropriate question, or a surprise question, ask
yourself, *What is the real question here?* What does my
audience need to know to understand my offering?
Take out the tone, the churlish personality, or whatever
isn't sitting right, from the person asking the question and
address the underlying issue. Lifting yourself away from any
kind of personal entanglement will give you the clarity of
mind to answer any question with detachment. Even when
caught off guard, take a deep breath, reflect, and then say
something that people will remember.
Learn more about getting good press and self-promotion to
gain publicity for your business, product or cause in *Sell
Yourself Without Selling Your Soul®* (HarperCollins). Go to
http://prsecrets.com for your free excerpts today.
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Susan Harrow, CEO of
http://prsecrets.com, is
a top media coach, marketing strategist and author of
Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul® (HarperCollins),
The
Ultimate Guide to Getting Booked on Oprah, and
Get a 6-
Figure Book Advance. Clients include Fortune 500 CEOs, bestselling authors and entrepreneurs who have appeared on
Oprah, 60 Minutes, NPR, and in TIME, USA Today, Parade,
People, O, NY Times, WSJ, and Inc. |
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